2 Alpes Snow Report: 26th February 2013

snow-forecast.com was still telling me at 5pm yesterday that it had been snowing all day and was going to carry on doing so for the rest of the week, despite the fact that a) I had been boarding in blue skies and sunshine since 10am and b) the local forecast was for the same again today.

Today dawned clear and sunny as predicted, and snow-forecast is still insisting that it’s overcast and likely to snow. They’d get a better result if they rang me up in the morning and asked me to look out of the window.

We did have a smattering of snow on Saturday, which has softened up the pistes a bit, though it didn’t do a lot for the off piste, since we only had a few centimetres. It all makes a difference on a peak week though, what with the masses constantly battering it about by skiing all over it. Outrageous, do they all think they’re on holiday or what?

I missed the queues yesterday and got up to the glacier by about 10:30, at which point things were generally quiet, with the exception of the odd ESF 15-snake. I’m not sure how the anklebiters in these classes are supposed to learn anything, but at least it keeps them in some sort of vaguely predictable order, and more or less prevents them doing that thing they do in shopping centres where they persist in walking straight into your knees without looking.

There was minimal wind, which was just as well considering how cold it was up there in the first place. I will be going back into K2 boots next year, I feel. Either that or having all my toes amputated, which doesn’t sound like the most fun ever.

Following a morning spent in deep freeze conditions I felt obliged to give my abused feet a break for half an hour, so adjourned to the Toura restaurant at midstation to steal chips from British Masterclass, once more on tour in 2Alpes with Mark Warner and the Ski Club of Great Britain. Top tip here: if eating at the Toura, order one meal between two – even at that you’ll be stuffed for the rest of the afternoon.

This breaks my golden rule of peak season skiing, which is on no account to stop for lunch, but in the interests of having functional toes I thought I could spare half an hour.

Back out on the slopes again it was still reasonably quiet until about 3pm when the snakes hit the pistes again along with afternoon skiers and random families towing dangerous unguided missiles. Avoid these creatures by sticking to red runs and the Bellecombe. I have no idea why they don’t venture onto those pistes – maybe they’ll infest them later in the week when their skiing improves.

All the pistes are in top condition this week, with the only patch of ice being where it always is at the run-in to the Cretes chair. Avoid it by swinging wide and going down the left side of the access track. In particular, try not to find it with the heel edge of a snowboard, as the resulting pile-up is amusing for spectators but less so for participants.

Our local weather foecast is for further sunshine and warmer temperatures, which will be nice after recent arctic days. I should ignore snow-forecast for the time being until it relocates to the same planet as the rest of us.